SAC-isms

Found this list on a BBS back in the late 1980s... source unknown.

  • ATC -- American Toy Company
  • ATC -- Afraid To go to Combat
  • MAC -- Maybe Airplane Come
  • TAC -- Totally Authentic Chaos
  • MATS -- My Ass Travels Slow
  • Decades of experience unhampered by progress
  • No "why" questions!
  • That sounds like a plan
  • To err is human, to forgive is not TAC policy
  • If its not mandatory, its prohibited
  • That's not what the book says
  • 50% of the flight surgeons graduated in the bottom half of their class
  • Win or lose, you lose
  • A suck for SAC is a blow for humanity
  • Trust me!
  • You won't pull more alert if you live on base
  • Wing Priorities: 1) Christmas Party 2) Aerobics 3) OWC Luncheon 4) EWO
  • We're glad to be here
  • And we're glad you're here
  • TAC is like a big fan: Stand in front of it: it blows; Stand behind it: it sucks; Stand beside it: it does nothing for you
  • When I leave SAC, I'll need to sleep in the gutter and ___ some ___ to get my self respect back
  • SAC: Simulate, Authenticate, and Cheat
  • This will be an open Q&A session. Ask about anything that you're not satisfied with. However, all questions will be approved prior to the meeting
  • Working for SAC is like being a nail -- if your head sticks up, it gets hammered flat
  • Disease of Colonels: When you tell your troops to do something and then reject it after they've done it because it's not what you wanted (Great for buying shoes but a lousy way to inspire trust and confidence)
  • Sleep tight tonight -- your Air Force is wide awake
  • You're the only one available
  • The IG is on final
  • If I catch the guy that squealed to the IG, his ass is grass! -- Col. Wally Hertzog
  • A suck for SAC is a blow for Peace
  • This isn't a popularity contest
  • You've got to be able to get along with them
  • SAC Motto: The next 24 hours is the most critical.
  • SAC wing personnel are like a log floating down the river with hundreds of ants on it... each one thinking he's guiding the log.
  • There is no double standard
  • Why not Minot
  • Freezin's the reason
  • I wanted to come north
  • There are only two ways out of SAC: death or retirement
  • Stages of SAC decision process: a. We're thinking about you for... b. We want you to... c. You WILL... d. No stigma is attached...
  • Harsh but unfair
  • Peace is our Profession -- War is just a Hobby
  • War is our Profession -- We're not sure what Peace is, yet
  • War is our Profession -- Peace means unemployment
  • Trolling for taskings
  • Flexibility is the key to airpower -- Indecision is the key to flexibility
  • TAC exercises are like practice bleeding A) It feels good when you stop B) Practice doesn't help you do better next time C) Practice makes you weaker
  • I need an Alert tour so I can get some time off
  • SACumcision/SACumcised
  • There's the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". SAC didn't buy that; they said "hold his head underwater and suck on his butt... the water will flow".
  • SAC exercises are as effective as practicing bleeding - it doesn't make you better next time, in fact it makes you weaker
  • If you're a pilot, does that mean that you are ___
  • Weatherguessers
  • Contradiction in terms: Military Intelligence; Military precision; Support Agencies
  • Staff will fly at least once a week
  • There is no stigma attached to what we are going to do to you

    Crew Quotes

  • Scheduling is working it
  • I was on C2
  • Box Nastie
  • Nothing's too good for the Alert Force
  • Mass parking area
  • SAC YORF
  • Nothing is too good for the crew force
  • It's code 1
  • FNAGA
  • Line of sight scheduling
  • Rent-A-Crowd
  • Same day, same sky
  • The schedule's never final until it's flown
  • Being a crewmember in SAC is like a bitch in heat: You're always running; someone's always after you; stop once and you're f%#ked.
  • 1 CEVG: Critique Everything to death Vestige of a once respectable Group
  • You have to go out -- you don't have to come back
  • 50% of the pilots graduated in the bottom half of their class
  • Taxi on the yellow line, take off on the white line, turn at the circles, refuel at the squares, bomb the triangles, keep the green side up and the white side down
  • It must be a good bird, it just came out of phase
  • But this is the can bird!
  • Boy, things are going to change when I get to Stanboard!
  • Commit aviation
  • That was a copilot landing
  • Stan Board: White throated buddy f%*kers
  • I promise I won't ___ in your mouth
  • We penetrate deeper, go down lower, and drop the biggest loads
  • Animals on a B-52: a. Hydraulic SEALS b. Crosswind CRABS c. Bleed air DUCKS d. TA PUPS e. Heading BUGS f. Crew DOGS g. COCK pit h. Survival KIT i. BIRD s%$t j. bomb BAY k. engine POD
  • I'm OK, you're Q3
  • SAC Trained Killers
  • Gosh, I love the smell of napalm in the morning
  • SAC Form 1
  • EP for Brainfade: BRAIN - ENGAGE
  • Navy Common - 243.0
  • Winchester - 303.0
  • Remington - 300.6
  • Authenticate: HS, TU, TD, SH, FU, EM, DS, WD, UY, AH, PU
  • That's in coordination
  • We're working that
  • Not invented here
  • But, they didn't teach that at ___
  • Christmas tree
  • White top
  • What a goatrope
  • RCH
  • BCH
  • Game the system
  • It's deja vu all over again
  • Queeratrons
  • Didn't they teach you that at the 329th?
  • I've got to send a message to SAC... (flush)
  • I've got to give birth to a [fill in applicable crew position]
  • Chinese Landing One Wing Low
  • TAC Laws of motion: 1) An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction 2) An object at rest will always be in the wrong place 3) The energy required to change either of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task prospectively impossible
  • Trim. TRIM. TRIM!!!
  • It's a trainerism
  • French common - HF 6969
  • Give scheduling a call
  • Scheduling must have had a good reason for doing that
  • Boy, things are going to change when I get to Scheduling!
  • Get what you can, log what you need
  • Honor thy airspeed at all times, lest the ground rise up and smite thee
  • Jet noise the sound of freedom
  • You know, a BUFF has the power of twelve railroad locomotives, thirty miles of wiring, and enough sheet metal to make fifty thousand trash cans; and that's how it flies: like twelve locomotives dragging fifty thousand trash cans with thirty miles of wire
  • BUFFs penetrate deeper, stay down longer, and drop bigger loads
  • Slip the surlies
  • Give a monkey enough bananas and you can teach him to fly anything
  • Steam jet
  • Water wagon
  • Trash hauler
  • Big, Ugly, Fat, er, Fellow
  • R stands for Relief
  • E stands for Extra thrust
  • G stands for Gutless
  • If we get any more female pilots, we'll have to quit calling it a cockpit and start calling it the box office
  • The last time I had sex was 1956... only three hours ago
  • I thought the EW had it
  • The schedule is bleeding
  • The DO's a great guy, isn't he?
  • We'd better give that guy a strong copilot
  • Let's make him an instructor, get his hands off the yoke
  • Only the best guys go to training flight
  • I don't know, let's ask Stanboard
  • I don't know, let's ask CEVG
  • I can fly anything
  • I have 6000 hours, 5000 hours instrument time
  • B-52s were my first choice
  • Crewdog
  • Crew canine
  • Toad
  • Green Lizard
  • The FB-111 is a fine airplane -- if we ever go to war with Canada
  • If the minimum wasn't good enough, it wouldn't be the minimum
  • Naviguesser
  • Radiator
  • Nothing is more useless than: A) Runway behind you; B) Altitude above you; C) Airspeed you don't have
  • Yes sir, sure we can take those 400 extra flying hours
  • Yes sir, sure wm till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark
  • Never forget that your airplane was made by the lowest bidder
  • On mission planning day, Staff will do nothing but mission plan
  • Never forget that your survival equipment was made by the lowest bidder
  • You can get just as drunk on water, as you can on land
  • My grease low level light is on
  • My crew was on leave
  • My crew was TDY
  • My AC was TDY
  • The Co didn't follow through
  • The Gunner lost it
  • Fighter puke's definition of foreplay: Six hours of begging
  • Fight to fly, fly to fight, fight to win
  • Lose sight, lose the fight

    Leadership

  • Would I lie to you?
  • It just don't get any better than this
  • Wait 'til the boss comes back and ask him
  • I'm a dot
  • It just doesn't matter
  • You can't win
  • You can't even break even
  • You can't get out of the game
  • Everybody knows that
  • Stir the pot
  • Trust them, they must know what they're doing
  • Do as I say, not as I do
  • That's not my department
  • No one told me to go ahead
  • I'm waiting for an okay
  • How did I know this was different?
  • That's his job, not mine
  • We don't make any misteakes
  • I didn't think it was very important
  • I'm so busy, I just can't get around to it
  • I thought I told you
  • I`m not paranoid, regardless of what all those people who are out to get me say
  • Are you paranoid if they really are out to get you?
  • The good deals just keep on coming
  • One good deal after another
  • Screw up, move up
  • Listen to the Cluebird
  • F*%k up, move up
  • Punishment is its own reward
  • I'd rather be lucky than good
  • He's not a happy camper
  • Force to fit, file to hide, paint to cover
  • I'd rather be lucky than smart
  • My fun meter is pegged
  • Three biggest lies: A) I did it; B) I didn't do it; C) I can't remember
  • I'm clueless
  • RTFQ
  • RTFA
  • He hasn't got a clue
  • I guess that means we'll have to take more from them
  • Free the Alert hostages!
  • I only just got here myself
  • Make sure to tell that reporter how happy you are
  • Disapproved. Resubmit in thirty days for further disapproval.

    Life's a piece of s$*t

  • I feel like I've been eaten by a wolf and s*%t over a cliff
  • Are we having fun yet?
  • That's the way we've always done it
  • I didn't know you were in a hurry for it
  • It's just one good deal after another
  • I'll have the answer for you in a minute
  • We've never done that before
  • If he wanted us to do it, he would have told us
  • I don't know if I can take any more good deals
  • Attitude check
  • I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant
  • Someone must have taken it out of my box
  • I thought someone else turned that in
  • We lost it while TDY
  • It must have been put in the wrong box
  • No one told me
  • It wasn't on the schedule
  • I didn't realize it was due today
  • It must still be in distribution
  • I haven't been here
  • I guess I didn't notice it
  • I wasn't hired to do that
  • F%*k you very much
  • I don't know
  • I don't care
  • It doesn't make any difference
  • Can they do that?
  • They can't do that, can they?
  • Let's go check out the BX (winter)
  • Let's go check out the babes at the BX (summer)
  • They is us
  • Hi! I'm from ___ and I'm only here to help
  • It's only a cold sore
  • I'm not the regular crew chief
  • Alert sucks
  • But that's not the way we did it in SAC!
  • But back at Base X we did it this way...
  • They didn't teach us that at the 329th!
  • We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful
  • We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing
  • F*^k 'em if they can't take a joke
  • The check is in the mail
  • We're only here to help

    Conventional Wisdom

  • Do as I say, not as I do
  • Measure with a micrometer; cut with an ax
  • It must be right, its in the book
  • If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed fixing anyway
  • The earliest Christian gets eaten by the hungriest lion
  • Live every day like it will be your last - eventually you'll be right
  • When everyone is kicking you in the tail, at least you know you're out in front
  • If half the people think you go too far, and the other half think you don't go far enough, you must be doing something right
  • No good deed goes unpunished
  • You can get away with anything -- once
  • There are no right answers; some answers are better than others
  • Someone who knows what he's doing is the enemy of all those who don't
  • Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free
  • It's a reg - it's not supposed to make sense
  • Don't trust anyone. -- Maj Gen Eugene E. Habinger
  • Don't second guess yourself; make the best decision you can in the time you have to make it
  • No amount of planning can replace dumb luck
  • A double standard is better than no standard at all
  • If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
  • Failure to decide is itself a decision
  • If you can't stand the answer, don't ask the question!
  • Maximum reward is minimum punishment
  • For every action there is a greater and opposite overreaction
  • In a game without rules, everyone is the Enemy. And only one man is the winner. -- Lt Col Eugene E. Habinger (now Maj Gen)
  • Nothing's fact 'till it's history, and even then it's debatable
  • Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself
  • Better is the enemy of good enough
  • When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
  • Keep them busy so they won't get into trouble
  • Personnel: If their lips are moving, they're lying
  • The angle of the dangle is proportional to the heat of the meat
  • Lack of punishment is its own reward
  • Do unto others what they would do unto you but do it first
  • Never take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive



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